{"title":"PUBLIC PROOF","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe performance everyone expects. The smile, the small talk, the \"so good to see you.\" These pieces say the quiet part out loud — front for the room, back for the truth.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"so-good-to-see-everyone-hoodie","title":"SO GOOD TO SEE EVERYONE HOODIE","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e[ Do not proceed if you actually draw energy from a crowded room. ]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe room you smiled through.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"So good to see everyone.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is the ultimate social reflex. You walked in, delivered the line, and smiled until your jaw ached. It is a performance no one explicitly asked for, but society absolutely expects.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut underneath it all, the real calculation had already started. The quiet, frantic math of figuring out exactly how soon you can leave without making it weird. You aren't anti-social. You just have a strictly limited amount of \"on,\" and small talk drains the battery faster than anything else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThis file is built for the version of you that needs physical armor for social obligations.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not a  novelty apparel. Our Hoodie is a psychological release valves. This is a deadpan social anxiety hoodie built to get you through the performance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eFront: SO GOOD TO SEE EVERYONE [ WHAT I PERFORMED. ]\u003c\/b\u003e The polite front you showed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eBack: COUNTING MINUTES TO LEAVE [ WHAT KEPT ME CALM. ]\u003c\/b\u003e The truth running underneath.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet the thick fleece do the heavy lifting. You don't have to pretend you want to stay. Just wear the truth, find a comfortable corner, and wait it out.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Dull Red \/ S","offer_id":59456005832990,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#011","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dull Red \/ M","offer_id":59456005865758,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#012","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dull Red \/ L","offer_id":59456005898526,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#013","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dull Red \/ XL","offer_id":59456005931294,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#014","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dull Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456005964062,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#015","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ S","offer_id":59456005996830,"sku":"260619PODRB4522#001","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ M","offer_id":59456006029598,"sku":"260619PODRB4522#002","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ L","offer_id":59456006062366,"sku":"260619PODRB4522#003","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ XL","offer_id":59456006095134,"sku":"260619PODRB4522#004","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456006127902,"sku":"260619PODRB4522#005","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Apricot \/ S","offer_id":59456006160670,"sku":"260619PODRB4522#006","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Apricot \/ M","offer_id":59456006193438,"sku":"260619PODRB4522#007","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Apricot \/ L","offer_id":59456006226206,"sku":"260619PODRB4522#008","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Apricot \/ XL","offer_id":59456006258974,"sku":"260619PODRB4522#009","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Apricot \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456006291742,"sku":"260619PODRB4522#010","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":59456006324510,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#001","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":59456006357278,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#002","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":59456006390046,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#003","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":59456006422814,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#004","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456006455582,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#005","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":59456006488350,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#016","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":59456006521118,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#017","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":59456006553886,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#018","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":59456006586654,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#019","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456006619422,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#020","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ S","offer_id":59456006652190,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#006","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ M","offer_id":59456006684958,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#007","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ L","offer_id":59456006717726,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#008","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ XL","offer_id":59456006750494,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#009","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456006783262,"sku":"260614PODRB0660#010","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/7751\/9646\/files\/1fa2893ae7d94feeabd8c1f19ca2ebb1.jpg?v=1785242228"},{"product_id":"don-t-follow-me-tee","title":"DON'T FOLLOW ME TEE","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e[ Do not proceed if you are the designated responsible adult in the room. ]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a courtesy notice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere's a version of you that makes highly questionable decisions with complete conviction. That texts first. That stays way too long. That orders the thing, takes the trip, and says yes to something that requires a lot of explaining later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot reckless. Just unbothered by consequences in a way that other people find either admirable or alarming depending entirely on how close they're standing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe warning is genuine. You're not asking anyone to stop you. You're asking them to be clear-eyed about what they're signing up for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"Don't follow you.\" Because if they do, they need to keep up. And you do stupid things with full confidence, zero hesitation, and very little regret.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThis file is built for the version of you that refuses to apologize.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not a novelty t-shirts. Our T-shirt are psychological warning labels. The front is the courtesy notice. The back is the uncompromising reality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eFront: DON'T FOLLOW ME [ PUBLIC WARNING. ]\u003c\/b\u003e Said clearly. Said for their benefit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eBack: I DO STUPID THINGS [ WITH CONFIDENCE. ]\u003c\/b\u003e And you're not stopping.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet the heavy-weight fabric do the heavy lifting. You don't have to explain your chaos. Just wear the warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e300 GSM heavyweight cotton. Oversized fit. Screen-printed front and back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFree US shipping. Return it if it's not yours full refund, no questions.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":59456013173022,"sku":"260617PODPQ7986#001","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":59456013205790,"sku":"260617PODPQ7986#002","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":59456013238558,"sku":"260617PODPQ7986#003","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":59456013271326,"sku":"260617PODPQ7986#004","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456013304094,"sku":"260617PODPQ7986#005","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":59456013009182,"sku":"260617PODPQ7993#001","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eYou said it at the door.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e You said it again inside.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eYou probably said it a third time because you actually meant it the part of you that genuinely loves people \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci class=\"\"\u003edid\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e mean it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eBut the other part of you,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e running quietly underneath the whole evening,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e had already calculated exactly how long you needed to stay before leaving stopped being a thing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eNot because you don't care.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e Just because you have a strictly limited amount of 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Our T-shirt are psychological release valves.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e The front is the polite social performance.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e The back is the survival strategy running in your head.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb class=\"\"\u003eFront: SO GOOD TO SEE EVERYONE [ WHAT I PERFORMED. ]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e The front you showed.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb class=\"\"\u003eBack: COUNTING MINUTES TO LEAVE [ WHAT KEPT ME CALM. ]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e What was running underneath.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eLet the heavy-weight fabric do the heavy lifting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e You don't have to pretend you want to stay.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e Just wear the truth.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e300 GSM heavyweight cotton. Oversized fit. Screen-printed front and back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFree US shipping. Return it if it's not yours  full refund, no questions.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":59456014909726,"sku":"260619PODPQ3966#001","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":59456014942494,"sku":"260619PODPQ3966#002","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":59456014975262,"sku":"260619PODPQ3966#003","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":59456015008030,"sku":"260619PODPQ3966#004","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456015040798,"sku":"260619PODPQ3966#005","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":59456014745886,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#001","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":59456014778654,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#002","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":59456014811422,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#003","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":59456014844190,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#004","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456014876958,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#005","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky Blue \/ S","offer_id":59456014418206,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#011","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky Blue \/ M","offer_id":59456014450974,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#012","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky Blue \/ L","offer_id":59456014483742,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#013","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky Blue \/ XL","offer_id":59456014516510,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#014","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sky Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456014549278,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#015","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mild Apricot \/ S","offer_id":59456014582046,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#006","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mild Apricot \/ M","offer_id":59456014614814,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#007","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mild Apricot \/ L","offer_id":59456014647582,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#008","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mild Apricot \/ XL","offer_id":59456014680350,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#009","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mild Apricot \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456014713118,"sku":"260619PODPQ3967#010","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":59456015073566,"sku":"260619PODPQ3966#006","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":59456015106334,"sku":"260619PODPQ3966#007","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":59456015139102,"sku":"260619PODPQ3966#008","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":59456015171870,"sku":"260619PODPQ3966#009","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":59456015204638,"sku":"260619PODPQ3966#010","price":49.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/7751\/9646\/files\/498f5bb884184bb5915e33f5ed121454.jpg?v=1785242122"},{"product_id":"i-ll-get-this-one-tee","title":"LIVING THE MOMENT","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e[  Do not proceed if you never have to look at the prices on the menu. ]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe caption said you were \"living.\" And the caption wasn't lying, exactly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou were there. 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