[ CONTROLLED EXPOSURE ]

DON'T FOLLOW ME TEE

DON'T FOLLOW ME TEE

$49.95
$49.95 $64.99
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"People are always looking for someone to lead them, to be the mature, responsible adult in the room. This is your formal resignation from that job. You aren't here to be a role model. You are here to make highly questionable decisions with absolute, unapologetic confidence. Consider this fair warning to anyone trying to step into your blast radius."

[ Do not proceed if you are the designated responsible adult in the room. ]

This is a courtesy notice.

There's a version of you that makes highly questionable decisions with complete conviction. That texts first. That stays way too long. That orders the thing, takes the trip, and says yes to something that requires a lot of explaining later.

Not reckless. Just unbothered by consequences in a way that other people find either admirable or alarming depending entirely on how close they're standing.

The warning is genuine. You're not asking anyone to stop you. You're asking them to be clear-eyed about what they're signing up for.

"Don't follow you." Because if they do, they need to keep up. And you do stupid things with full confidence, zero hesitation, and very little regret.

This file is built for the version of you that refuses to apologize.

This is not a novelty t-shirts. Our T-shirt are psychological warning labels. The front is the courtesy notice. The back is the uncompromising reality.

  • Front: DON'T FOLLOW ME [ PUBLIC WARNING. ] Said clearly. Said for their benefit.
  • Back: I DO STUPID THINGS [ WITH CONFIDENCE. ] And you're not stopping.

Let the heavy-weight fabric do the heavy lifting. You don't have to explain your chaos. Just wear the warning.

300 GSM heavyweight cotton. Oversized fit. Screen-printed front and back.

Free US shipping. Return it if it's not yours full refund, no questions.

Four green outline feature icons on a white background with text: cotton, 300 GSM, oversized fit, and built to last.
Black
Black
White
White
Sky Blue
Sky Blue
Mild Apricot
Mild Apricot
Coffee
Coffee
Buy 2 Captions, save 15% ON YOUR ORDER discount applies automatically when eligible.
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P.S. Think about the next time you have to walk into a crowded room, a family gathering, or a forced social event. Imagine the quiet, untouchable confidence of knowing you are wearing the brutal truth right on your back. Pick your statement, grab your size, and stop pretending you are "fine."

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FIT & SIZE

Relaxed unisex fit with a streetwear feel. Tees are oversized with dropped shoulders and a structured drape.

For tees, choose your usual size for the intended roomy fit, size down for cleaner proportions, or size up for extra volume.

Available tee sizes: S-2XL.

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FABRIC & CARE

Premium heavyweight garment with a substantial feel and a smooth print surface.

  • Made to order
  • Front and back print
  • Structured feel

Care:

  • Machine wash cold on gentle cycle
  • Do not bleach
  • Tumble dry low
  • Iron low if needed
  • Do not iron directly on the print
  • Do not dry clean
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SHIPPING & RETURNS

Made to order and shipped with tracking.

U.S. shipping:

  • $5.99 shipping under $75
  • Free shipping over $75
  • Buy 2+ items and shipping is on us

Unworn items can be returned within 14 days of delivery. If your order arrives incorrect or not up to standard, contact us within 7 days with your order number and photos so we can take care of it.

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THE CAPTION

The front is the public warning. The back admits the warning is also for you, because the unsupervised version of you has range.

DON'T FOLLOW ME TEE

DON'T FOLLOW ME TEE

$49.95
$49.95 $64.99
SAVE 23% Sold out
View full details
CAN'T SAY IT DIRECTLY.
*
WEAR IT PUBLICLY.
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CAN'T SAY IT DIRECTLY.
*
WEAR IT PUBLICLY.
*
CAN'T SAY IT DIRECTLY.
*
WEAR IT PUBLICLY.
*
CAN'T SAY IT DIRECTLY.
*
WEAR IT PUBLICLY.
*
CAN'T SAY IT DIRECTLY.
*
WEAR IT PUBLICLY.
*
CAN'T SAY IT DIRECTLY.
*
WEAR IT PUBLICLY.
*
CAN'T SAY IT DIRECTLY.
*
WEAR IT PUBLICLY.
*
CAN'T SAY IT DIRECTLY.
*
WEAR IT PUBLICLY.
*

PRIVATE DOESN'T MEAN UNSAID. [ IT JUST GOES ON THE BACK. ]

  • FRONT

  • BACK

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